Letters Around The Clock
by kagachloe
Summary: A series of letters shared by Miku and Len in between their working hours, plus Len's tackiness and Miku's passive-aggressive responses. Hospital AU, Len x Miku.
1. Letter 1

Dear Hatsune Miku, my one and only love,

If you've received this letter, you must be thinking at least two things-

1\. Why would Len be sending snail mail when it's the thirtieth century? He can always text me, because that's what his phone is for, besides texting and calling others, of course.

2\. Len lives in the same apartment as me; we live together and we see each other every day. Why the heck would he want to write a letter? He can always talk to me in between shifts,

Or as an alternative…

3\. Len is being tacky as usual and he wants to show his love through letters.

Well, if you actually thought of the third thing, I'm very sorry to say (not!) that you're correct, and that I have to give you some of my candy again (which I really don't mind doing; I just pretend to so I can see that cute satisfied smile of yours).

Did I really just write that? I'm probably doomed because now you know and you won't allow me to give you candy ever again. But screw that, there are other things that you like. Like milk chocolate. Don't think I don't know about how much chocolate you eat. You stash them in your underwear drawer and your lips always seem to taste so sweet.

Not that they're not always sweet, of course.

I can imagine you thumping me on the head after that comment.

Anyhow, if you've thought of the first or second thing-

Yes, it's the thirtieth century and postmen are becoming broke because of the decrease of the usage of a piece of white paper and a fountain pen or a computer keyboard and the increase of cell phones with too many weird functions, so why not help them out a bit? I probably already hit two birds with one stone by proclaiming my love for you through handwritten words and fed an old postman's family. No, three birds, because I gave a postman a job that he can do instead of nap in front of the post office in cold weather. I'm not joking; I literally saw a postman use his bag as a pillow once so he could at least sleep a bit more comfortably.

He snored quite loudly too, wow…

And besides, on an unrelated note unrelated to the story of that snoring postman but still related to the thoughts that I thought up about what you would probably think of upon receiving this letter, I think writing long, dumb sentences for you are fun, and I don't care if you think I'm an idiot.

Because I'm _your_ idiot.

Cue you slapping your hand against your forehead~!

Tell me what you think, princess~

With lots of love and much tackiness,

Len.

-o-

Dear Kagamine Len, my beloved (oh goodness me, your tackiness is rubbing off on me!) fiance,

If you've received this letter, you must already realise that-

1\. You never did manage to mail the letter, because I found it while you were napping on your patients' charts. Tell me, do they make good pillows? I'm literally giggling as I write this.

2\. I also found this under your arm, so it smells like armpits. It's also wet because you drooled all over it while you slept. But hey, the sweat and saliva didn't really mask the effort and love you put into this, so I'm going to keep it forever! It's very sweet that you thought up of this, really, even though yes, it's tacky.

Haha, but you did indeed nail my thoughts! They were all amazingly accurate, and does that show how much you love me? Wink, wink.

*thumps you on the head* Yep, you're right on that part again. Sorry, honey. I love you!

The story doesn't apply anymore because you didn't mail it. Sorry again, dear. And I thought you'd be more worried about the postman; wouldn't he get frostbite or hypothermia? You're a pretty strange doctor. You care so much about human lives but the instant you see something like this, your eyes turn into saucers like one of those anime characters.

That reminds me, I wonder how we would look as anime characters. I'd probably look really strange because of my hair (I already am considered weird because of that…) but I can see you becoming really popular, with fangirls constantly trying to kiss posters of you… 

BAD THOUGHT! Len, please, please promise me you won't allow any girl to kiss a picture of you… I'll cry! Oh, maybe I really shouldn't think about things like this… You already have so many of the female patients ogling you whenever you perform treatment on them. OGLING.

Yes, yes, you're my idiot, whatever… You're such an idiot. An idiot with a medical degree. And don't you get started on that 'That's why I have to play Dungeons and Dragons' quote.

KAGAMINE LEN, WHY WERE YOU SNOOPING AROUND IN MY UNDERWEAR DRAWERS!? I don't even care about the candy now… Wait, I do! What candy do you even buy for me anyways? They always taste amazing and I steal some from you sometimes- ARGH! You are going to be a heap of a doctor when you get back home tonight…

Your sentences are dumber than mine, aren't they? I'm going to try to blow-dry your letter so it's not so disgusting to hold, especially after the armpit sweat. No, screw the weird jokes about how we've hugged while you were drenched with sweat!

What I think? I think it's absolutely endearing, minus the smell of the sweat. You're tacky, but that's a part of you, and I love you for you and your strange words and your voice and also your wet letters.

Don't knock over the cup of coffee I placed next to you, by the way.

Lots of love and lots of giggles and pretending to be totally pissed off,

Miku.

P.S. There's sugar in the coffee already.

-o-

 **A/N: Hello guys! This is probably just going to be a very random series of letters sent by the couple as they work around the clock at the hospitals~ For the ones who've read my story, Only One, I write with a hospital worker AU in mind~ Do read and tell me what you think in the reviews!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own VOCALOID~**


	2. Letter 2

Dear Kagamine Len, the idiot doctor with a medical degree who is, by some strange magic and a lot of charming personality traits, my fiance,

Yesterday, this old big-shot businessman was one of the patients that me and your sister, Rin were supposed to take care of. So Rin went first, since she started her shift earlier than me. This guy, she told me, was a major, major, and I mean _major_ jerk. Rin told me that he treated her like how he did with his employees- never satisfied with anything, complained about everything from the food to the bed-sheets, and even resisted us when we have to perform treatment on him.

So… After about ten times of tending to his every demand, Rin got really, really pissed off and she told another nurse to replace her. And so the other nurse (her name is Megurine Luka, by the way, that nurse with the pink hair and amazing patience) did so, and after fifteen more trips to that man's room, even Luka turned as pink as her hair. So, after that scenario, apparently none of the hospital staff wanted anything to do with the man.

Rin told me all of that via text during her break and wished me good luck with him. I thought she was exaggerating at first, but after a few times of going back and forth from his room, I realised how serious it was.

He literally complained about EVERY. SINGLE. THING. He grumbled when I gave him his food, he whined (as childish as that sounds, it's true) when I told him that I had to bring him to the washroom for a shower, and he even griped when I closed the curtains for him before treatment. And don't get me started on what happened DURING the treatment.

So, I devised a plan… Miku style.

I walked into his room on one of the more uncommon times when he wasn't stabbing the 'call nurse' button to order another ridiculous thing, and announced that I had to take his temperature.

After an objection or two, or maybe even three (I stayed silent the whole time), he finally settled down, crossed his arms and opened his mouth. Then, I said, "I'm sorry, but for this reading, I cannot use an oral thermometer."

Then came another round of grumbling, but he eventually rolled over and bared his rear end. Then, I inserted the thermometer and said, "Sorry, sir, I forgot to get something. Now, can you just stay just like that until I get back?"

That started a lot more complaining that was muffled by the pillow, but I quickly left his room while leaving the door wide open. Then, I walked to a vacant room and watched the hallway of his room.

People passed by and tried their best to hold their laughter in, including families of other patients. I got really satisfied at that point, so I ran off to the nurses' station and started on some work about an hour before my shift ended.

Try to guess why it was so funny! *laughs*

Your fiancee who is currently very pleased with herself,

Miku.

-o-

Dear Hatsune Miku, the very hardworking and professional, yet occasionally extremely cheeky nurse who is my beautiful fiancee,

So it was you who did that!? You savage nurse… (but yet, I'm still totally in love with you! xoxo)

I walked into the hospital, kissed you and hugged you as you left, wishing me a good day with a childish twinkle in your beautiful turquoise orbs for some reason, which I found to be unusual but did not stop to think much of it (I should write a romance novel dedicated to you~!), rode the elevator to my office, grabbed a chart and started on my rounds, expecting it to be a very normal day.

Two patients later, I come across a room with a wide-open door and lay my eyes on a very strange yet hilarious scene.

A man, possibly in his mid-fifties, who was lying on his back and baring his rear end. He noticed me (probably felt my presence due to my laughter which I tried to cover up but to not much succession) and said angrily,

"What's the matter, doc?! Haven't you ever seen a person having his temperature taken before!?"

So, aha, in my fit of not very professional chuckles, I said, "Well, uh, no. I guess I haven't. Not with a sunflower, anyways."

You should have heard the grumbles that came afterwards; it included so much swearing- (I quote, "OH THE GOOD HEAVENS, CURSE THAT STUPID NURSE WHO DID THIS TO ME! I HOPE SHE DIES IN A HOLE").

I got kind of mad that he possibly just insulted you or Rin or another one of our nurses and told you girls to die in a hole, so I said (while controlling my slight anger), "Maybe you've treated someone badly enough to make them do this to you."

So he wasn't pleased at all, and demanded that I remove the 'f*cking flower' right that instant. So I did, and he immediately pulled up his pants, sat up and refused to look at me in the eye. He looked so embarrassed that I think even you would have felt at least a little bad for him.

I checked up on everything, wished him well and left the room (shutting the door in the process) and completed the rest of my rounds. Then, when I came back to the office, I saw your letter, read it, and now I'm so glad that I didn't have to endure all the complaining that he apparently did before. I think you taught him a pretty good lesson, in and out of the hospital walls.

Also, where the heck did you get that sunflower? It's huge and it looks like it's made out of plastic when it isn't. It's only sat in that man's rear end for about an hour, right? I cut off part of the stem and placed it in a glass on your desk. Think of it as a sort of trophy, hahaha!

Your fiance who is very proud of you,

Len.

-o-

 **A/N: Hahaha, how's that, big-shot businessman!?**

 **I based this off a video I saw, and I thought that it would be perfect to make it part of this story's chapter.**

 **Please let me know what you think in the review section below! ^o^ Until then, bye-bye!  
**

 **I do not own Vocaloid.**


	3. Letter 3

Letters Around The Clock Letter 3

Dear Hatsune Miku, my beautiful fiancee with turquoise hair and emerald eyes,

You'll never believe what happened today. You probably knew that I had the morning shift, right? Since you, half-asleep, told me not to move from the bed when I had to get up for work. You refused to stop clinging to me and I was almost late, but I can't say that I didn't regret it… :) :)

Okay, anyways, on with what happened today at work. So, you know how I've recently been doing more checkups because it's Kaito's turn this month to become lead surgeon? Yeah. Earlier today, this woman came in, and she was carrying a baby in her arms. I recognised the baby as a patient who just had a minor surgery to remove a cyst, but not the lady. I had simply assumed that she was his mother, so I carried on with the exam.

So, you know the usual. Auscultating, height, weight, all the normal stuff. Then I found out that the baby was underweight, just a bit. So, I asked the lady, "Is your baby breast-fed or bottle-fed?"

She replied "Breast-fed" without any hesitation, so I ended up having to tell her to strip down so I could check her breasts. And, again, you know the usual, pinching, pressing, kneading the nipple to find out if she was having any issues making milk. And I found out that she wasn't, so then I told her, "No wonder your baby is underweight. You're not producing any milk."

Then she smiled at me, this creepy-ass smile, before saying, "I know. I'm his great-grandma, but I'm glad I came!"

Then I literally had to turn away for a moment so she wouldn't see the face I was making. I was so disgusted, Miku, and totally weirded out! But I sent her on her way after a quick "Oh, I see. Very well, then. Please tell the child's mother to breastfeed her son more frequently, then." kind of statement before I allowed myself to mope. I felt as if I had lost my virginity, even if we did do it for a couple of times already…

I told Kaito after an operation briefing and all he did was laugh at me. What an amazing friend you are, Kaito! Note the sarcasm, you ice cream monster…

Also, please note that I found out the grandma was a freakin' 75 year old!

Feeling very sad and totally naked right now, your handsome fiance,

Len.

-0-

Dear Kagamine Len, my 'handsome' and very dorky and also very idiotic fiance,

You have to be joking… I must have been really drunk or something before we slept last night. Were we drunk? On milk or juice or anything like that? Did I seem like a clingy freak who was like one of those _yanderes_ you'd see in those Japanese cartoons? Ugh, damn… I'm really sorry, Len.

Wait, what did that lady do? She came to do a checkup only to get the pleasure of a boob massage from you? Len, how did you not know!? Was the supposed grandmother really youthful or whatever? The next time you see her… Tell Kaito to take over. And never forget her face, you moron! I don't care if the next time she comes, Kaito is in the middle of an emergency surgery! Drag him out of there to give that lady the massage!

… I don't mean it, Len, stop giving this letter a horrified look!

But in all seriousness, though, you shouldn't have fallen for that. Unless that grandma did some botox thing or whatever, she wouldn't have such a youthful look that would fool even you that she was the mother of the baby. I've never even heard of a 75 year old who had a newborn in this country. Wouldn't she have had menopause already?

Oh well. Just call one of the nurses next time, then. Rin's always around for you, since she's your twin sister, or Luka. Luka's a pretty good choice too, since she has the cool mind.

That reminds me, didn't we have a patient that was diagnosed with colon cancer after using a pregnancy test as a joke yesterday? He's having surgery today, right? How did it go? I feel really bad for him, honestly.

And stop moping. I've left you some of the bubble coffee you seem to really like on your desk. Hope you enjoy it, since I think I've improved at making those balls you see in bubble tea. Let's grab some dinner today, alright?

Your bride,

Miku.


	4. Letter 4

Dear Kagamine Len, my sweet fiance whom I miss dearly at the moment,

How are you doing? Yikes, I guess that's a strange question to ask, isn't it? Since I already texted you a million times that yes, I'm alright, calm down already, geeze, and I returned that question a million times over to ask if you're okay as well.

But I'm not as good as you when it comes to writing letters, you know? Since you're the cheesestick of our relationship. Smirk.

Rin and I are in the hotel room right now. She's complaining about the massive piles of documents we have to bring to the conference and trying to dig it all out of our suitcases. I wanted to help, but she said that she didn't want anyone getting in the way of her 'hidden treasures', so here I am, writing this letter to you.

Oh, Rin looked over at what I was writing. She said hi, and she laughed at us because this letter thing, according to her, is the dorkiest thing she'd ever seen done by two real-life humans.

But we don't have to care about that, do we? Also, the reason why Rin said it was dorky is _all your fault._ :)

Right, so, make sure you eat well and drink plenty of fluids when I'm not around, okay, Len? I'll be back on Thursday. Make sure you don't binge on pizza and ice cream while sobbing for the three days I'll be gone.

There's not much for me to talk about, but I know you asked for a good story… Oooh, how about what happened on the plane? Just now, there was a guy and this little girl seated next to me and Rin. This was exactly the conversation that followed between them.

Guy: Hello, little girl. Would you like to talk to me? Flights go by a lot faster if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.

I don't know what that girl was thinking when she closed her book and then replied to the man, but hell, Len, she was _smart._ Just wait until you find out what she said!

Girl: Alright. What would you like to talk about?

Guy: Oh, I don't know. How about why there is no tooth fairy that leaves money underneath your pillow when you lose a baby tooth, no Santa Claus who leaves presents underneath the Christmas tree and why crossing your fingers never gives you any more good luck than you already have?

Girl: Alright, but let me ask you a question first. A cow, deer and horse all eat the same stuff- grass. But yet, a cow turns out a flat patty, a deer excretes lumps and a horse produces clumps. Why is that?

Guy: …

Girl: Do you really feel qualified to discuss all of those things when you don't know shit?

Len, you should've seen the look on the guy's face! He was like a fish, he kept opening and closing his mouth!

Alright, I guess that's all I have for now. I'm getting pretty tired, and Rin's currently snoring beside me. I hope you'll sleep well tonight, Len.

Goodnight, I love you.

Miku.

-0-

Dear Hatsune Miku, my beautiful bride with gems for eyes and turquoise silk for hair,

[the page is covered in Len's icky vomit]


End file.
